No, it's not a riddle.
It's also not a forgotten manifesto from the Surrealists.
I still want something... feeling relatively healthy though still not energetic (especially yesterday and today, oddly and inexplicably tired after short errands and walks); but I am restless, and childishly rebellious that I should expect myself to get back to work on The Book (let alone work on editing the other two Books) without some sort of bright spot, something different, an amusement, something exciting.
First impulse is a trip to Copenhagen, or perhaps Barcelona; or something uncrowded but pleasant in southern Europe. I want the place to be: charming, beautiful, different, and probably not completely unfamiliar (which means Barcelona is a good choice, I already have a whole collection of favorite places to go there; Amsterdam is also good for that, but probably too aggressive for my current mood). But I wouldn't be able to leave for at least a week, and I really couldn't walk around a great deal, and....
Second impulse, strong but fraught with complex decisions, is to get a cat. It is years since I've had a cat: my beloved Ralph, whom I found as a kitten in the middle of the night in San Francisco, wandering the streets (as was I, and I couldn't tell you which of us more needed rescuing), somewhere in 1983-4; who came with me to Los Angeles, in a dramatic airplane journey with a remarkable amount of meowing (I'll tell you about it some time); and who was tragically hit by a car on my too-busy residential street, when he was only about three years old. He was truly a good cat, affectionate and calm (as my roommate Russ said, a True Friend); and, although I've missed him for years, I haven't lived with a cat since then.
Of course a cat means a catbox (and I hate those – Ralph went outside, which is of course why he didn't live long though); or some sort of cat door (a double cat door to outside? one cat door through just the kitchen door on to the back staircase, with a catbox on the steps? so would the first make the house cold and the landlord annoyed, and the second make the cat and possibly me annoyed, especially when it's cold outside? yikes).
And there is the danger of becoming responsible for a crazed cat, an unhappy neurotic or frigid taker. How do you know what kind of foundling you're taking in? I definitely need a friend, not just another demanding mouth lined up next to all the students.
And naturally, having a cat would make travel, such as taking a trip to Barcelona, that much more difficult.
What could I do instead of either?... a train trip to York (too much walking I think). A trip to London (way too stressful, no). A brief escape, or a new responsibility, or....
Can't decide. Aargh.
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