Home. Weather warm and damp by local standards, but rather cool compared to the hot day in Zürich I just left. Recovery from packing, airport, plane – and I do know that this wasn't a difficult trip. After all I wasn't traveling to Asia, or using one of the painfully brutal American arilines, or doing anything really complicated. But it's still distinctly stressful.
Coming back into familiar life patterns does create an odd feeling – especially I think these days, when analysis and changes in my life keep shifting my basic ground. I'll suddenly reexperience some patterns (laundry, this shower, food, this bed – the books, the television – even the pattern of playing an internet crossword puzzle every day) and they all look – well, contingent rather than necessary, if I can use that metaphor again (it has been a favorite of mine lately, I know).
As though, with many basic habits, there is simply no reason to pick them up again – especially easy for an academic in midsummer. But even when the students come back: to simply not bother with them again.
Such an odd sense of clarity, of relaxation – of time – in the face of evaporated habits.
And, of course, some embarrassment that I ever was trapped by them....
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