WAD

 Sorry I didn't comment on World AIDS Day, or attach a speech as I have for the past five years.

My reasons: it was a very long day – successful but long – and I ended up not using the speech I'd prepared; what I did say wasn't written down.

An all-day conference, largely organized around health services and various community organizations; professional, classy, but also – surprisingly enough – very pleasant and very 'real'. Unlike the conference of two months ago, which was well-managed but amazingly bureaucratic (lots and lots of statistics and politico-speak, in a way that seemed to bypass actual people almost entirely), this one felt as though it was about real people and their experiences.

It probably helped that the 250-some attendees were largely local, and many people already knew each other... our patient group spoke twice (which meant I couldn't go to most other sessions which was too bad but oh well), I gave a 45-minute Powerpoint on art related to AIDS (shamelessly heartstrings-tugging in spots). And then a final panel, with a little wrangling between someone who thought everyone should get tested whether or not they could be counseled, and others who disagreed (I was a bit on the latter side but was polite about it). Reactions to the whole conference, displayed on a screen while we all used things that looked like remote controls to vote, were extremely good.

Then we had a vigil! – except there were two problems: many people were very tired from the conference, and the outside temperature had plummeted to something considerably colder than we've ever had on World AIDS Day. The crowd of perhaps 40-50 was fortunately treated to hot drinks and soup from two outside wagons, courtesy of the conference – a brilliant idea that left them all a little more bright-eyed and engaged (they looked almost eager at that point, but I knew it wouldn't last). But, as I was also discovering that I wasn't just a speaker, I was in charge, and introducing one other speaker whom I didn't know – I thought: okay, let's make this a short one, but good.

Blithely casual introduction, comment on adjacent skating rink's music that hadn't been turned off (it never is for some reason, although they always promise to do so), chuff everyone a bit about the weather, joke about the artificial-light non-candles, emphasize passionate thanks for hot soup. Other speaker for 2-3 minutes; meanwhile I'm thinking of my three-page speech, which is a description of what our patient group has done for the past five years, and, as an old nightclub trouper, I think: to heck with that. And speak for two-three minutes about the aftereffects of this summer, about caring about people, about thinking one has a future versus thinking one doesn't.

Followed by – no, not a minute, but – forty-five seconds of silence. Well, silence plus the skating rink music.

And then a final song and good-byes – whole thing from rounding everyone up to dispersing about 2o-25 minutes. People engaged and happy but clearly ready to go home. Thank God I learned some stage sense, acquired from Mary Jo and other savvy performers in the 1980s... there's nothing like being able to read people and see when they've had enough.

Unfortunately, there was one more event: after some of us went across to a bar and had some hot drinks (and why is it that British bartenders are still so bemused by the idea of hot drinks? just give me some Courvoisier and put a little hot water in it – he did that and it was perfect), the two African women and I had to go up to One More Thing, a film being shown by the Stop AIDS Society up at the University.

Both women were still cheerful and ready for anything, at least until we got there. The students gave us a bit of food and Cokes, and C. got very sleepy as a result, and started to have trouble talking and following what was up. But the three of us held forth for about 15-20 minutes about our lives/experiences etc., then we actually stayed for the film – a fun film, about an African woman's soccer (= football to Brits) team that is entirely HIV+. Only about 40 minutes long, and really quite fun; then heartfelt thanks from the students (who offered to do some fundraising for the group – at this rate we'll be rich).

Then finding taxis for both women, sending them home, staggering home myself, and crashing in a tired but satisfied heap on the sofa....

A good day. If a bit long....

Comments

[Alfred Corn]

Thanks, Paul, the next best thing to attending is reading this.

Al