Over the past two or three months, since having the idea of studying to become an analyst, I read certain things differently – writings that include some reference to therapy, psychology, dreams, etc. have become much denser and more interesting. Because, I suppose, I am no longer interested only when those writings seem to directly have something to do with my own psychology – I'm interested in all the aspects, all the processes.
Under those circumstances, it's interesting to trip over Frederik Pohl's Gateway in a used book store. A dense and interesting work by any standards; but I'm not paying so much attention to the science fiction ideas, nor to the interesting and realistic portrayal of a future poverty – I'm more interested in the protagonist's bizarre, amazingly resistant/abusive relationship to his machine therapist.
It's hilarious and awful and grotesque – here is someone with some horrible memories, who doesn't want to touch them; and who doesn't want to talk about anything that is obviously important to him, instead indulging in a vast variety of atrocious avoidance strategies. It's as though he is the Worst Patient Ever: his paranoia and hatred of the therapist, his resentment of the possibility of actually getting somewhere and achieving some peace are astounding.
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