My sister is far better, sounded remarkably cheerful on the telephone yesterday.
Friday I started calculating exactly what I had to get done before leaving for Los Angeles this coming Thursday; and panicked – nerves, anxiety, woke at 6 am to wander restlessly about, wondering how it could all possibly get done. (Especially as most of it is about students – responsibility for them is sometimes a bit much...) Did some of the CBT (cognitive behavior etc., not that other thing) work, and felt far better, quite level-headed.
Today, with Patrick's and Catherine's help, put together a number of IKEA shelves for the front room, moved all the boxes around, many things on the shelves etc. Which means the front room, for the first time since I moved here five years ago, is sort of manageable: still way too full of junk, but it's easier to get in there, things are more organized, and therefore in a few weeks I can start doing some determined taking stuff to the trash or to thrift shops, and reduce it all a bit.
As the front room is partly full of about twenty boxes of papers that represent my entire life, this is really a major move – dealing with the past and dealing with the present at the same time, making it possible to move through both memories and current needs, and feeling quite comfortable getting rid of a lot of the past that doesn't matter any more, and getting rid of things that I'm not using, because I can confidently feel as though if I should ever need them I will simply buy them again. If it were a dream, it would be a fantastic chain of symbols.
As it's reality instead, I'm quite pleased with myself....
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