It's that point in spring, at this northern latitude, when the days start getting longer startlingly fast, and I wake at 6:30 am with the day already begun and sunny; and the students cheer up. I predict a relaxed funeral for V. on Friday as a result – something more like a wake, which is a good thing.
Also a good thing because, in the wake of V.'s death, I'm trying to do several presentations, trips, complete some research, that we were doing together. I'm already acutely aware of how much I'd depended on her to make sense of all the difficult bits – as I said a couple of days ago, I'll have to 'internalize' her to make it through everything. All this increases my research activities, but of course I'm also feeling physically/mentally better the past few months (the difference is undeniable), so I'm fully capable of this. Lazy, intractable, a bit skittish from past failures, but still capable. V.'s going to need to watch over me a bit I think (you hear that, my dear?).
As for the funeral: frankly somewhat worried about what to wear. Note to self: if you lost some weight, you could wear all those nice clothes that sit in the back of your closet....
Comments