Morning: green tea, hot chocolate; a strong English breakfast at a nearby café (I didn't eat the blood pudding though, it just seemed... optional). By which time I was oddly shaky: so much caffeine and sugar and strong food, and my body was getting a bit overwhelmed... so some afternoon sleep.
And tonight: again, a few small tasks, answered e-mails and completed forms; no real work, and feeling as though after a mild illness. Big, slow music playing for hours on end, and a few candles burning. Very calm, expectant: as though preparing for something....
I know I should be anxious, pushing myself, about all the things there are to do, especially as the school semester starts up again. But I'm just not feeling that way: tonight it is as though I am living on a far island, and each day is the same as the next, and no one asks anything of me, there is no external world; and within those altered rules, today is simply a day for calm, for garnering reserves. A shame my 'real' tomorrow has meetings in it. But perhaps, at some level, today is neither a waste nor a mistake... I can't imagine how that could be; but I have the sense that, at some deeper level that doesn't take my projects, meetings, or work duties into account, it may be so.
[Another beautiful painting by Polish artist Jacek Yerka.]
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