So: somewhere between Newcastle, London, Philadelphia, Washington, New York and Nashville; somewhere among the planes, trains and cars, and between various family members and old friends; and somewhere among a 'historic' election (but aren't they all historic?) and my luggage getting lost for a day and a half, and my credit card falling afoul of possible fraud...
somewhere in there I'm in various spaces: the large rooms and full-to-bursting cupboards of my brother-in-law in suburban Virginia, the small, crowded urban apartment of my sister in New York, cafés, restaurants, streets, stations, bookstores.
As a trip, it's actually going very well – my family has helped make everything ridiculously easy, my friends look happy and busy, the transportation wasn't bad (except for the luggage).
But I find myself a little disoriented by the spaces – they are all so radically different, they make such different basic assumptions: my brother-in-law's house, somewhat like the new house just bought by my brother and his wife, are truly huge, much like the vast suburban grocery stores where we shop. Even having grown up with such things, I remain overwhelmed and intimidated by the massive fields of goods: and even though I do like choice and luxury, these suburban monuments to consumerism seem a bit over the top, even to me. (They can't possibly sell all that, can they? – is there much waste, much food going in the trash?)
And then the dirtier, more chaotic but exciting, streets and spaces of New York: which seem difficult or interesting, maddening or attractive, depending on the moment. (It was interesting to go into the famous Strand bookstore, and realize that it isn't all that large, really – I could imagine something larger. Something more, well, pharaonic.)
In this time when I'm applying for jobs back in this country – which doesn't mean much, of course; I've applied intermittently for years – it makes me wonder: what kind of spaces will I need to get accustomed to, if I'm ever successful?
And what will those spaces do to me, to my expectations, my moods, my awareness....
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